Those of you who read this blog regularly may have noticed that it has been more than three weeks since my last post. I am well and probably no busier than usual. It’s just that I don’t seem to have much to say. I am questioning why I started writing this blog in the first place and how much longer I want to continue. “I feel like quitting.”
We are now into the eighth month of Adult Faith Development programs at my church. While I am grateful for the enthusiastic response to our programs, I am questioning my own energy and enthusiasm to continue until our summer hiatus. Some days “I feel like quitting.”
This year I made only one Lenten resolution – to write and send one note or card each of the 40 days of Lent. I started on Ash Wednesday with great enthusiasm, but now it is difficult to find something to say. I’m so far behind that “I feel like quitting.”
Those of you who know me well might be thinking that this is not a new theme for me! Right about this time of year, for most years, I feel overwhelmed and question what I’m doing, and wonder if I have the energy and interest in continuing. I often feel I have little left to give to whatever I’m doing at the time.
A few days ago, one of the bloggers whom I follow posted one of her images of a desert. It reminded me of one of my own images of a desert in the Holy Land. As I recalled this desert experience, it occurred to me that my feelings of aridity and emptiness and “wanting to quit” may be connected to Lent. “I feel like quitting” Lent. I yearn for Lent to be over. I yearn for the new life of Easter and springtime.
Maybe this Lenten season I am not meant to DO anything – even keep my one resolution – but instead to stay quietly in the desert. Maybe I need to accept the fact that I cannot give what I do not possess. Maybe I need to wait by a well for Someone to draw water to refresh me. Psalm 23 reminds me, “Beside restful waters he heals me; he refreshes my soul.” (v. 2-3a) Maybe I don’t need to quit, I just need a nap!